A Griz fan serving abroad: Greetings from Afghanistan
8/2/2011 12:00:00 AM | General
Aug. 2, 2011
Greetings from lovely Kandahar, Afghanistan! My name is Chad T. Shuman, and GoGriz.com has decided to pay me a huge lump sum of cash to write this article from halfway around the world!*
As with any contract, they demanded of my first article that I cover some basic background.
1) Introduce myself: Easy money, I already did this in the second sentence. But I shall expound.
I was born in Scobey, grew up in Plentywood and attended college at Marquette University in Milwaukee, Wis., on an Army ROTC scholarship. Upon graduation and commissioning to active duty, I attended the Armor Officer Basic Course and Ranger School, then spent time as a Tank Platoon Leader, Tank Company Executive Officer, Scout Platoon Leader and Staff Officer.
I had a break in service for about six years to pursue civilian opportunities before returning to the Army Reserves in 2010. I was a Company Commander for a Drill Sergeant unit in Phoenix, Ariz., where my wife, two kids and I reside, until I was involuntarily transferred to the 4th Sustainment Command (Expeditionary) out of San Antonio, Texas, for deployment to Afghanistan.
Initially, I was pegged as the Mobility Maintenance Officer, responsible for tracking the wheeled vehicle maintenance throughout all of Afghanistan. However, the Commanding General (henceforth referred to as "The Boss") selected me to be his Aide de Camp.
Now I'm a big shot author, receiving large sums of money from world renowned webpages like GoGriz.com to talk about myself.
2) Explain where I am and what I am doing: Damn, no wonder they're paying me so much money, I already did that, too. I AM good at this. But I'll provide more filler.
For cool points, I'd like to lie and say I'm kicking down doors, sneaking around in the dark of night and that I singlehandedly captured and killed Osama bin Laden. Okay, maybe that last one is true, you'll never know.
Our unit is actually responsible for all of the logistics for the war fighters. We are the lifeline that provides beans, bullets and anything else that enhances their abilities to complete their missions and return home safely. So there are some cool points.
I ensure all The Boss needs to worry about is leading from the front and making good decisions (or General-ing, as he likes to call it).
3) Describe my background as a Griz fan: I wasn't aware that anyone from Montana had a choice to be anything BUT a Griz fan.
Unfortunately, I discovered the hard way that there's this other school in Montana that is attempting to field a football team. How did I find this out, you ask? My mother moved to Bozeman about five years ago.
Believe me, she went the way of the dodo bird in my world for a good two years. But then I actually started to feel a bit of pity for her.
So I decided to mend fences and get back in touch with her. Well, there's that and the fact that she went through 20 hours of labor before delivering me. And the guilt trip, MY GOD, THE GUILT TRIP.** Thank the good Lord my father is a Griz fan.
4) Express my excitement for the new season: I do not know if it is possible to put into words how I feel with the onset of a new Griz football season. I could compare it to the birth of my two children, but that would fall just short.
Don't get me wrong, bringing those two rug rats into this world was beyond amazing. However, despite a strong initial effort towards my goal of producing a new offspring annually (daughter is 17 months, son is six months) I have been unable to keep pace with the beginning of a new Griz football season, which occurs EVERY YEAR.
I could compare it to marrying my perfect 10 wife. But after the glorious beginning of a new Griz football season, Coach Plugrad doesn't nag me to take out the trash, mow the lawn or change a toxic diaper.***
It's just hard to explain the feelings that come with that initial practice, that initial game, that initial snowfall at Washington-Grizzly Stadium. I do know that it will definitely help take my mind off the dust, heat and smell of poo in lovely Kandahar (the last air quality test done here revealed that the air was comprised of 60% fecal matter).
5) The more creative I can be with this article, the better: As I type this, I am standing on my head, on top of a camel, juggling a hand grenade, an M9 pistol and a football, reciting the UM fight song backwards, wondering if I misunderstood the intent of being creative.
So there you have it. I have fulfilled my contractual obligations to GoGriz.com.
They may want me to continue with more articles. I could write one after each game, which would probably include some good-natured ribbing directed towards the opposing team.
I could include stories of how our efforts are going over here (limited somewhat by Operational Security measures).
I will say, as a newly published author, my price tag has increased significantly.
Go Griz, keep supporting our troops, God bless, Rangers Lead the Way!
* Any indications of payment to the author are complete fiction and fallacy.
** I have never and would never disown my mother. She would be anointed a saint if she weren't a fan of that other Montana team.
*** My wife nagged me to add a note that she doesn't nag me about anything.
