His cup runneth over

J. Landham knew what he was giving up, what he was sacrificing, when he left Missoula for Philadelphia last summer, the University of Montana for Villanova University.

But a coach, one who's been conditioned by the profession to believe that it's the next step, the next stop, that matters more than anything else, has to do what a coach has to do.

And Landham was on the rise. And a coach on a roll like that has to keep looking forward, down the road, at new opportunities, his current employer as stepping stone.

He started out as an assistant coach with the men's program at Union, a Division II school in Jackson, Tenn., his alma mater.

Then the upward scramble, marked by short stays, long relocations but increased program cachet, began.

Part-time coach at Northern Colorado. Volunteer assistant at Vanderbilt. Assistant at Montana, later associate head coach.

But no matter how much he felt at home in Missoula, so settled, no matter how right things felt, the profession was whispering in his ear: Time's up. Move on. Move up.

"I think there is an underlying motivation in coaching to climb the ladder. It felt like the next rung was upper-mid-major, borderline Power 5. A strong-name university," he says.

So, when an opportunity at Villanova presented itself, the chance to work under first-year coach Samar Azem and the Wildcats, he signed on. And put Missoula in his rearview mirror, as difficult as that was.

But this was Villanova. While not a member of a Power 5 conference, it operated like it was. For Landham, the pay was better, the free gear more plentiful, the school name more recognizable.

After all, that's what most coaches do, what they chase.

"I was really looking forward to that next challenge and maybe a little bit of a new picture. That was a bit of a motivator. Some of the details of the job on paper were really motivating as well," he says.

He accomplished about all a goalkeeper coach could at Montana over three years. In his first season, in 2019, he was part of the program's Big Sky Conference regular-season championship.

In 2020 and '21, Montana advanced to the NCAA tournament.

He spent two seasons coaching Claire Howard to the Big Sky record for career shutouts. In his final fall in Missoula, Camellia Xu was named the Big Sky Goalkeeper of the Year.

A coach does that and he moves on. Mission accomplished, what's next? "I think it was an important step for me to take, to go to a place that was new and uncomfortable," he said.

"Climbing the ladder was part of it. Exploring a new challenge was part of it. Then the details when it comes to money and the conference and the school name were really exciting."

His goalkeeper group at Villanova had players from Massachusetts, North Carolina, Arkansas and Texas. Last fall they allowed 15 goals in 16 matches or what you would expect from a Landham-coached group.

Villanova totaled only 10 goals itself, scoring one goal or no goals in 14 of 16 matches. The end result was a 4-8-4 record and an eighth-place finish in the Big East.

But he's not back in Missoula, back coaching the Montana goalkeepers because of any of that.

"I had the incredible honor to work with really great goalkeepers. It was really fun to work with that unit, and Samar gave me a lot of freedom. It was an awesome experience," Landham said.

Two things were pulling him back. One was place, because there is only one Missoula. And there might be only one Chris Citowicki, Montana's coach who is going into his sixth season.

Citowicki is in the largest of the coaches' offices, but he thrives on collaboration. It might be an assistant coach. It might be a player. If someone has an idea that clicks with Citowicki, he's willing to try it.

That's what Landham found when he arrived in 2019. It made him feel like he was an integral part of the story being written about Griz Soccer, not just a coach coming in to work with the goalkeepers.

He wasn't a position coach. He was a coach and a good one. If he had an idea about training that might be applied to the entire team, Citowicki was all ears and no ego.

The head coach's gift? He knows the smartest person in the room isn't the one who thinks he has all the answers. It's the person who knows where to find them. He applies that to his coaching, his program.

After one season at Villanova, Landham discovered something about himself. He isn't motivated by the coaching ladder, the one that begs to be climbed, with shinier and better-known rungs just ahead.

He wanted what he had at Montana.

"I'm motivated by being at a place that really values me and values my growth and being at a place that involves me in the story of its progress," he said.

"I'm so deeply integrated and valued here. I feel really, really involved, with a much deeper tie to the team. I feel so free to do what I love to do with Chris's guidance and Chris's blessing and vision."

He's been back for a little more than a month. In that time, he's probably already brought something up to his new/old head coach that's sounded like a pretty great idea. So, let's use it.

"He'll say, 'I like that. Let's explore that with the whole team.' He'll find ways to empower my ideas. That's valuable to me, to feel empowered and valued with my coaching," Landham says.

"I'm able to have so much autonomy in my work, then that work is looked at and celebrated by the head coach."

Of course, he gave up his position at Montana, a job taken by Damian Macias, who arrived in Missoula from Missouri Western right before the start of the fall season.

The Grizzlies didn't have an opening.

But after the fall's final match, Macias met with Citowicki and told him he needed to move on for a multitude of reasons. He's now back at North Dakota, where he and Citowicki first crossed paths.

"I'm very grateful for the work he put in and all he did for us, including the scheduling into the future," Citowicki said. "When you see it, you'll be amazed. He did a lot of great work."

Last July, Landham was out, Macias was in. In January, Macias was out, Landham was back in. It was the easiest recruiting call Citowicki has ever had to make.

Hey, J., I was wondering if you'd be interested … Yes!

"Planetary alignment, one of those things that happen only once in a while," said Citowicki. "Talk about lucky. Damian decides he's moving on at the very time J. is looking for a new place.

"It feels like he never left. He took Missoula with him. It was a strong enough pull that if something ever opened up, he'd be back."

So, the old gang is back together. Citowicki as head coach, Landham as associate head coach, Ashley Herndon as the latest burgeoning assistant coach under Citowicki.

"He understands the goalkeepers. He understands the history of the program because he's helped build it and been a part of it," said Citowicki of Landham.

"He's a part of this thing. Griz Soccer is part of his identity."

Landham was gone and back in such rapid fashion, his old key card probably still worked on the doors of the Adams Center and on the main gate at South Campus Stadium on the day of his return.

"What I love about it is that he fully understands me. He understands what I'm thinking before I even say it out loud. We were back on the same page immediately," Citowicki said.

"There wasn't a process of, let's integrate and orientate this person in slowly until they figure out how we do it. It just works."

There was a Saturday morning earlier this month, clear and chilly but not frigid, still cold enough to keep most runners inside, at least until the day moved along and the temperatures rose.

Landham wasn't having it. Nothing is going to hold him down. He's been reborn, with a clarity of purpose that only comes with experience, of having given something up only to have it returned.

He posted to Strava the results of his 7.1-mile run, then tweeted about it, finishing with, we're up here in the clean air, just Loving Life.

Indeed, he is. Once again. Loving Life.

He holds nothing against Villanova. Actually, he's thankful for the experience, not only for the soccer but for what the five months taught him about his own internal wiring.

Sometimes a guy needs to hop off the ladder and be true to himself, ground himself where he's able to live his best life.

"I kind of live life through small quotes that find me at different times. The quote that found me while in Villanova is that happiness is priceless," he says.

"No amount of paycheck or no amount of clout behind a university name is worth sacrificing happiness for. There are a lot of really happy people at Villanova, but Montana is my happy place.

"I'm just so overwhelmed by the work-life balance, the autonomy in my work, by the people who surround me, by the views I see every day."

He can't be a cup-half-full guy, not now, not as long as he stays in Missoula. First off, it's not his nature. Second of all, the dude is back where he belongs, right where he wants to be. And everyone wins.

"The way I describe living here is it fills my cup up every day. Then I get to work with Chris and Ashley, I get to work with the team, I get to go running and hang out with a beautiful community of friends.

"That fills my cup tenfold, so I'm just operating out of this fullness," he says. "This is the place that fills my cup, then I'm able to, from a full place, offer more to others."

University of Montana Athletics

Players Mentioned

Camellia Xu

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