Bruised, battered, broken but never more unified

There was a unique joy that came from watching Chloe Seelhoff play soccer, this whirling dervish of a forward, this high-scoring Grizzly whose game evolved from last season to this fall, maturing from goal scorer to all-encompassing playmaker, the most complimentary of epithets.

She played all-out but not in an angry or confrontational way, not with a need to win at all costs. Rather, she played like the opportunity to compete was a gift she had been blessed with, one not to be wasted. It made her appear light on her feet, it radiated off her, becoming our joy to behold.

She was so good that there would be an anticipation that would start to arise before she even had the ball at her feet, starting in that moment of time when a pass was made in her direction and everyone watching could see only endless possibilities opening up, just as she had running through her mind.

More often than not, she turned those possibilities into realities.

"Every time I'm about to get the ball, I imagine the best thing that could happen, putting it in the back of the net or assisting somebody," she says. "That just gets me so fired up. I just love the game and have so much love playing it that I give it my all."

She came on the local scene last season after two years at Washington, put up six goals and one assist on Montana's Big Sky Conference championship team. Playing beside her was Jen Estes, whose seven-goal, four-assist season was like a summons. This could be you. Bring everyone with you. Forget self.

"Last year I was goals, goals, goals," Seelhoff says. "This year, yes, scoring goals is amazing and my favorite thing to do but setting people up has felt even more rewarding. Jen showed a great example of that, of not playing selfishly at all. That's what I tried to focus on this year."

Last Thursday, with first place in the Big Sky on the line, Weber State in town, Seelhoff was at her absolute zenith as a player, in control, in command, a chess master seeing the board and all the potential moves, then executing the winning sequences, unlocking the game.

She had two assists in the match as Montana posted a shocking result, a 4-0 shutout, both of her assists coming off passes that set up players to have their own assists. She ended the day holding seven goals on the season, six assists. One recap of the afternoon included the line, "Her talent is generational."

"Going into the season, you knew she'd be effective. But we told her, if you want to be amazing, you're going to have to do what Jen did last year," says eighth-year Griz coach Chris Citowicki.

"It's not about you anymore, it's about us. It has to be about the team. That's what she grew into this year, a true leader, someone who unlocked everyone's potential around her. Who wouldn't want to play with Chloe this year? She's been special."

That's what made Sunday so hard to watch, to accept, this player in full now down on the ground, not bouncing right back up, this girl who played with no fear, who had been knocked down plenty this season on her way to goal, becoming mortal, flesh and blood without padding in a physical sport.

When her collarbone broke, our hearts did as well, for her, for ourselves, no longer having this joy in our lives, for what it would mean for this team that was pursuing history, a third-consecutive outright Big Sky title.

There was that brief moment of hope, when we willed her to get up, jog off the field or play on, seeing that it wasn't a lower extremity, the type of injury that had hit so many of her teammates. If anyone was going to shake it off, Chloe Seelhoff would.

"I heard it. It sounded like Velcro being pulled apart," she says. Yet, as any athlete would do, "I thought, I can play, I can play, I'm fine." She walked to the sideline, arm pinned to her torso, the pain minimized through lack of movement. I think I can go back on, she told herself. It's not that serious.

There was a sling waiting for her. She was told to relax her shoulder, to drop her arm. She did. "It was one of the worst pains I've ever felt," she says. "I'm on the sideline and just break into tears. My season is over. That sound still replays every day."

Later, after the match, at home, needing her mom and sister to cut off her jersey, the only option to remove it, the symbolism of the moment so cruel, the jersey now destroyed, never able to be worn again, the scissors cutting fabric but also deep into her spirit, the realization fully setting in.

It's the story of the season, the players on the PUP list, those physically unable to perform, the foundation of a pretty good Big Sky squad, Seelhoff now taking her place alongside seven players in different stages of recovery from ACL injuries, four of those coming since August.

But that's the outside perspective, of so many key players sidelined, so much talent going untapped, of a season that might not be what it could have been. If only Reeve was healthy! If only Kayla hadn't gotten hurt! If only Taylie and Carly were available this team would be so good!

And then a person's mind defaults to, well, there is always next year. Guess it wasn't to be.

But no matter how this season turns out, with a regular-season championship or without, with a tournament title or without, it won't go down as what could have been. Rather, it's what's happening in plain sight, a team not splintering but drawing tighter, more together, more united, stronger in loss.

The injured seniors, in particular, could have gone their separate ways, could have left the circle, not able to invest in something that was no longer able to bring them the same reward as if they had been playing. And no one would have blamed them. Losing a handle on your dreams can be like that.

The younger players who are injured, those who will come back and be in uniform and on the field again one day? They have something they are chasing, another chance to do this again. The seniors? There is no such reward, yet here they are, still fully involved, team over self forever.

Georgia Boone has played in a single match in her Grizzly career, 18 minutes, and she's one of the team's most important players in the background, in the locker room, at practice, in all those moments when the scoreboard is not on, which is almost all of them.

When she was back home in Seattle this season for surgery, the whole vibe around the team was off. Something was missing. Her absence was that noticeable. Yet most of us have only seen her walking onto the field behind the team, with the wounded, that status betraying her true value.

Reeve Borseth was injured last October, on the final day of the regular season, on a day Montana celebrated another Big Sky championship, everyone's happiness at odds with her pain. She was reinjured earlier this season, right about when her return to play should have been issued.

Kayla Rendon Bushmaker? She had the spring of all springs, a weapon just waiting to be unleashed on an unsuspecting schedule of teams in the fall. She went down against Calgary, an exhibition game, not even the real thing. Her too: ACL.

They all could have drifted off, one foot in, one foot taking them toward their post-soccer future, half links weakening the circle, showing younger players that it's fine not to be totally bought in if you don't have the role you expected, more and more damage to the program's foundation being done by the day. None has.

Outside of Boone, all 11 seniors being recognized on Sunday before Montana's home match against Sacramento State have had their on-field moments, some more impactful than others, the way it is when those players make up more than a third of the team's roster.

There are stories filled with smiles, others, most of them in this case, written in tears.

"There is heartbreak in there for sure. Reeve was going to be one of the best defenders this program has ever seen and then, gone," said Citowicki. "Chloe was having one of the best seasons a forward has had here in a really long time.

"Kayla looked so good in the spring. You're thinking, she's going to destroy this conference single-handedly. Gone. They've all played huge parts in this, it's just been in pieces."

Each has had her bright spots but you want it to be a perfect ending, each of their stories shining brightest as they near the time to ride off into the sunset. For too many of them, the sunset preceded their departure, darkness descending before they walk off for good.

The story of the season isn't the injuries, it's that they've still brought the light, even as they navigate their own personal darkness. It's not the role any of them signed up for or expected, but they've embraced it and it's made all the difference.

"They are the ones keeping it together. If anyone (of the non-injured players) wants to drift away, oh, this has been a tough season, they say, nope, come back in here," says Citowicki. "They are the ones holding it together through difficult times. Who would have expected that? Not me.

"Through this you get to see different parts of their personality and other areas of impact you didn't know existed. They are all so bought into the program and care about everybody so much. If you look at the impact on the field, okay, that's a sad story. If you look at the impact in the locker room, wow."

You would have needed a tape measure to gauge the size of the goosebumps running rampant throughout the team the day Rendon Bushmaker spoke up and told her teammates that they were now playing for her, that their success was her success, to get it done, no matter who was on the field.

"Kayla said it best. She gets to live through players on the field," said redshirt senior Ally Henrikson, who had the good fortune (?) of being injured earlier in her career, of getting it out of the way so she could go out playing the best soccer of her life.

"We bring a piece of them with us when we're on the field. It gives you the motivation to make one more hard run, make one more tackle, fight until the very end. It allows them to play through us and for us to play for them."

While the timing of Henrikson's injury, an ACL, was maybe more fortuitous than Seelhoff's – six matches into her sophomore year – it cost her most of two seasons, Henrikson playing only 32 minutes in 2023, her third year. "It was messy. I thought she's never playing again," said Citowicki.

"There were times I couldn't even watch practice I was so angry and so mad that I couldn't be part of something, even though I was still part of the team," Henrikson says.

"Seeing how these players are handling injuries, how they support the team, I wish I could have had a piece of that with me when I was hurt. They're doing something I couldn't do. It's a testament to the character of a lot of the seniors.

"That's what's so special about this senior class and all the terrible things that have happened. They still show up with a smile on their face, cheering louder than anybody else. I don't know how they do it but I know it fuels our team to work even harder for them."

And does Henrikson ever work, her play at center back, like Borseth's before her, having an understated effectiveness to it, a quiet brilliance. You expect her to make the right play, then she does. And repeat, consistent excellence.

There is a reason Montana's goalkeepers have only had to make 46 saves this season across 15 matches, or one every 30 minutes.

Two of those goalkeepers will be recognized on Sunday, Ashlyn Dvorak, first-team All-Big Sky in 2023 before getting injured, of course, early in the 2024 season, opening the door for Bayliss Flynn, who would go on to be voted the Big Sky Goalkeeper of the Year last fall.

Both have made starts this season.

If there has been something close to a storybook, or at least traditional, career, it belongs to Maddie Ditta, who hasn't missed a game since her freshman season of 2022, 73 matches in and going strong. At least with some maintenance work done to keep everything functioning well.

"It feels like it was over in the blink of an eye," she says. "Coming in as a freshman was nerve-racking. I didn't know what to expect in terms of teammates and the demands the coaches would expect.

"What I realized is that you have to prove yourself every day, come ready to work and have that grit part of you. That's something that over the years develops, especially by junior and senior years you get ahold of what's going on and what's expected of you."

There is a servant leadership to her, a humbleness to her play on the field that pairs with a fearlessness to do what needs to be done to help Montana win. "Defending and wrecking people" is how Citowicki describes it. "It feels like she's been here forever. I can't imagine the team without her."

Despite sharing the midfield position as a sophomore in 2023 with Kathleen Aitchison and Sydney Haustein, Ditta worked her way into the starting lineup, earning second-team All-Big Sky honors. She was first-team all-league last season, preseason All-Big Sky this fall.

It's no coincidence Montana has gone 31-9-11 over the last four seasons in matches Ditta has started, not when you see video of one of Sunday's key moments, when the Grizzlies won 1-0 at home over Idaho State.

There was a loose ball in front of goal, at the feet of a Bengal, Montana's goalkeeper not in position to make the play. But there was Ditta, blocking a sure goal out of harm's way like it was nothing, as if she was just doing her 1/11th and not saving her team's hopes of a Big Sky championship.

What, you want to stop the match and install a plaque to commemorate the play or something? That's not her style. "Seemed like a routine moment," Ditta said in the most Ditta way possible. "I expect myself to make those plays. I needed to be there and needed to do that.

"That's the player I am for the team. That's been the mindset of mine throughout the years, team first."

On Sunday, she'll go through Senior Day formalities, thanking the coaches, something she's done dozens and dozens of times in her career, this one more encompassing, for a career.

"She'll always be the kid who after her very first practice said, 'Thanks, Chris,'" said Citowicki. "True coach's kid. She's thanked the coaches every single day for her entire career. I don't remember her leaving without saving, 'Thanks, Chris.' That's Ditta."

Eliza Bentler has quietly put together a 10-goal career, this most unique of players who went through the ups and downs of a career without it affecting her base level. "She's just been described as 'joy,' the most joyful, happy person no matter what, doesn't matter the setting," said Citowicki.

Citowicki recruited Mia Parkhurst years ago, before she chose Georgia. After two seasons as a Bulldog, she became a Grizzly, overcoming her own ACL injury in 2024, this outside back with the strong leg.

"I was happy she ended up here and happy that she is here," Citowicki says. "She is someone I've enjoyed working with and I know (associate head coach J. Landham) has as well. She's been great. It's hard to imagine this place without her," something the coach seems to say about each of his seniors.

Emma Pasco, with 19 matches played over the past four seasons, also will be honored on Sunday, the game that will be the first for Seelhoff to miss after this past weekend's injury.

Had she been the only one of 31 players injured right now, she doesn't know if she could have done it, what she is doing, going to practices, not stepping away from the circle but holding down her spot, pressing in just as much as before, keeping it strong.

"This is my first time ever sitting out for more than a few days," she says, "so I don't know how to do it. I'll have to learn as I go. So many others have set a perfect example of what it means to be there for the team and letting others play for you and being okay asking for help. We all need to lean on each other.

"Being out there and being a cheerleader is so much more important than woe is me. They are healthy and they love the game, too, so I'm excited to watch them keep playing."

She had big dreams for the season. Still does for the team but now it will be up to someone else to carry it forward. She got the Grizzlies to mid-October, to a 9-3-3 record, to first place in the Big Sky, a third straight championship in play. Now she has to get Montana to the promised land in a different way.

"That's what I'm being reminded of. People need my energy and my confidence. I can't just shut that off because I'm injured. I have to continue to push others and inspire people. I'm excited to be the best one-armed cheerleader I can be," she says.

It speaks to Montana's championship DNA, that it's infused into the program now, deep and not going anywhere, not removed because a single player is out, or two. Or three. Or more. Players 1 through 31 were selected to join the program because they can help the Grizzlies do just that, win trophies.

For some, a new role will be placed upon them, expectations to perform they didn't have before. For some, their time to stand up and be counted upon will arrive earlier in their career than they would have anticipated. That's life in a championship program.

"Absolutely," says Henrikson. "If there was no pressure, why are we even here? Pressure is a privilege. That's where our eyes are set, on a championship, no matter who's on the field, no matter who's healthy. We all know that's our goal, especially doing it for the people who can't do it."

University of Montana Athletics

Players Mentioned

Eliza Bentler

Georgia Boone

Reeve Borseth

Maddie Ditta

Ashlyn Dvorak

Jen Estes

Bayliss Flynn

Ally Henrikson

Mia Parkhurst

Kayla Rendon Bushmaker

Chloe Seelhoff

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