J. Landham is still here

It's a magical moment, otherworldly, really, when J. Landham laces up his running shoes and heads out on one of his favorite trails around Missoula.

To some, the mountains that surround the city are an appealing visual, something to be appreciated from afar. To others – skiers, hang-gliders, mountain bikers, dog-walkers – they are a playground.

For Landham, it goes deeper than that, to an almost mystical level. The mountains are something to connect with, his runs not designed to conquer an obstacle as much as they are to become one with their power, to soak up their life-giving energy.

If you haven't experienced it on that level, he can't explain it, how he can go out for an hour, maybe more, fully invest himself in the experience through sweat and energy expended, only to get 10 times in return. The mountains and what they provide make his life better, fuller, more complete.

He may take his first steps carrying what feels like the weight of the world, whether those loads be professional or personal, and he returns unburdened, exhausted yet re-energized. Magical, indeed.

He knows they are not to be taken for granted, those mountains, the joy they bless him with, not anymore, never again to be sacrificed at the altar of career ambition, whether that be the next job or a bigger payday.

He tried that, back in 2022, after spending three seasons with the Grizzlies, from 2019 to 2021, back when he believed himself to be Coach J, the person defined by his ability to train goalkeepers into shot-stopping machines. Where he did that was secondary, because Coach J could travel.

He did, for a new job, a bigger school, one with a powerful name-brand, a logical professional step for a coach with a growing resume, J. Landham, climber of ladders. And he was miserable.

"I remember lying in my bed in Haverford, Pennsylvania, wanting nothing more than to be in Missoula, Montana, dreading going to work the next day, dreading the feelings of missing Montana so much," he said. "Missing my friends and the trails and Chris and Ashley and the team."

That would be Chris Citowicki, hired by Montana in 2018, who inherited a successful program and nurtured and guided it to new heights – eight seasons, nine Big Sky Conference regular-season or tournament championships – hiring, along the way, Landham in 2019, Ashley Herndon in 2021.

Citowicki brought on Coach J to train the team's goalkeepers. When Landham returned to the program in early 2023, he no longer viewed himself as Coach J. Now, he was something else, something more complete, coach no longer getting capitalized, no longer the thing that defined him.

Amid all his struggles in the fall of 2022, he had had an awakening.

"I tell people, I went to Villanova as Coach J and I came back as J Who Coaches," he says. "There was an identity shift that took place through that challenging time. I came back with this whole new love of a place and an identity that I feel here. It's more part of me than it ever has been before."

Montana was highly successful in Landham's first stint in the program, winning two regular-season championships and going to a pair of NCAA tournaments between 2019 and '21. When he returned, the program went into hyperdrive.

(It's worth noting that in six seasons with Landham on staff, Montana went 38-3-9 in Big Sky Conference matches. In 2022, the season he was coaching at Villanova, the Grizzlies went 3-4-1. Read into that as you wish.)

The Grizzlies of 2023, '24 and '25 said to people who had been following the program under Citowicki, under Montana's previous coaches: you ain't seen nothing yet. What happened over those three seasons was unlike anything accomplished in Big Sky Conference history.

Three consecutive outright regular-season titles. Eighteen league wins, one league loss, five draws. Fifty-eight total matches played, 37 shutouts. It was a multi-season tour de force, the team's changing netminder the one constant. Score if you can. Good luck.

You could make a pretty bullet-proof argument that Landham is the best goalkeeper coach in Big Sky history. In his six seasons, Montana has had four Big Sky Goalkeeper of the Year winners, notable for sure. What makes that a bit more jaw-dropping is that those were four different players.

Four players – Claire Howard, Camellia Xu, Bayliss Flynn, Ashlyn Dvorak – each of whom needed to be trained and reached and communicated with in a unique way from the others, and Landham turned all of them into stars.

Landham, again, had it all, and he knew it. His cup was full, as he likes to say of his life in Missoula. Professional success, personal fulfillment, not unlike Montana's former women's basketball coach who famously never left, someone who was right where he wanted to be, even as onlookers wondered why.

"I think a lot of coaches are reluctant to drive around a city and see it as their home because they are always mindful that something could crop up and take them away or they could lose their job," said Landham. "The (Robin) Selvig experience is very rare. That's the experience I wanted to have."

With all Montana's success, most people knew what was coming, that another school with more to offer would come calling for Citowicki. Many did over the years and it was Washington State, in December, which lost its coach and most of its roster to Mississippi, that finally landed him.

"We'd been working really hard for a long time for that next-level opportunity to come along, because we knew it was," said Landham. "With Chris's vision and philosophy, and the results, it was going to happen."

Citowicki wanted to keep the band together, wanted Herndon, who would depart for Pullman as well, and Landham at his side. This, then, would be the ultimate test of Landham's newfound identity.

Coach J would have left in a heartbeat. But Landham's heart, the one now belonging to J Who Coaches, had changed over the years.

"I looked at all the variables. It's still wise to be diligent, but at the end of the day, it was a heart decision," he said. "Once I made it, and it didn't take long for me to make it, I felt really good about it. The decision was pretty clear-cut to me.

"Mountains are a very important part of the conversation and a community that is as vibrant and as exciting as Missoula, the love for the outdoors that people have here plus their love of the Griz, it was clear to me that I wasn't really going to be looking to go anywhere."

But there was risk. The new job would have offered stability, a guarantee. He had nothing like that in Missoula, with Montana undergoing a national search to find Citowicki's replacement.

The new coach might have their own staff, including a goalkeeper coach, which would have left Landham unemployed, and wouldn't that have been a burden to take to the mountains? Yet, he never wavered in his decision.

"Not going with Chris and Ashley was the hardest part. The easiest part was staying here for these players," he said. "I slept great. The only time I didn't sleep great was when I thought, I'm going to have to rebuild this team."

It was a trickle-down effect. On Dec. 1, former Washington State coach Todd Shulenberger was announced as Mississippi's new coach. Within a week, most of his Cougars had entered the portal, intending to be part of the mass exodus to Oxford.

Twelve days later, Washington State announced it had found its next coach: Citowicki. And a bulk of the players who would have been returning to the Grizzlies for another run at a championship in 2026 turned in their maroon and silver for crimson and gray.

Landham, who would remain in place, was quickly appointed interim head coach, but that would come with the longevity of the search process.

When he heard from Citowicki the long list of players who would be joining Citowicki at Washington State, Landham could do the math, almost all of it subtraction.

He didn't have enough players left to field a team of 11, not even close, and who knew what those remaining players were thinking or planning to do. It was a potential crisis for what had been the Big Sky's most stable program.

"As soon as it was in motion, I said, okay, that leaves me with eight players. I'm going to call them and we're going to have a conversation about what I'm doing and what my intention is and how I'm here for them," said Landham.

The one player Citowicki wanted but didn't get? Lucie Rokos, who, like Landham, made a heart decision. She'll be a program legend because of it.

"Lucie deciding to stay was a big moment, a proud moment, a really exciting moment," said Landham. "All of a sudden I had a real leader in the group that was making a similar choice to mine. She had an opportunity to go but a desire to stay. That meant we had nine."

Facing an uncertain professional future, Landham's love of the program powered him forward, had him looking at a near-impossible list of tasks that had to be done and breaking it down into day-sized chunks, this perfectionist having to put his true nature to the side and simply survive one more day.

"I had to keep on going. What do I do tomorrow? I had a to-do list of things that keeps this soccer team growing and getting better," he said.

"That's a life lesson I'll carry on for the rest of my life. I've been held back in my career by wanting to put out a perfect product. Being thrown into this epically unique, modern-day thing, where two teams strip a team of most of its players and its coach, it's taught me so much."

Landham applied for the head coaching position when it opened, was informed on New Year's Eve day that he didn't make the cut.

Now he had to do what he'd been asking players to do all those years, those who had been told they were not going to have the on-field role they wanted. Can you still bring the right energy? Can you embrace the role you've been assigned and still put team over self, make the collective better?

He dug into the transfer portal, added three more players who joined the team in January. He reached out to the incoming freshmen, those who weren't bound for Washington State.

"I just mother-henned it, got my wings around everybody," he said. "This is what modern-day college sports is capable of doing, and we're caught right in the middle of it. What can we do to make the most of it? How do we support one another?"

With Landham holding things together in the background – and just imagine how things would have imploded had he, too, departed for Washington State – it took until Feb. 10 before Stuart Gore was hired as Montana's new soccer coach.

"I had to stay true to myself and hope it would be a good fit and maybe even a great fit," said Landham of the unknown of a coaching search. "Our first conversation was probably an hour long. It felt like a good relationship from the start.

"It's a clean slate but both of us are really passionate about this opportunity. We're both really open to learning from one another. I'm excited to learn new ways of doing things, new ways of seeing the game of soccer."

Over a span of three months, Montana went from playing in the NCAA tournament to losing its coach to hiring a new coach. Amid all the turmoil, J. Landham was the program's rock, it's glue, associate head coach for Citowicki, then interim head coach, now associate head coach for Gore.

"Why would I throw that away? It'll make my life so much easier," said Gore. "He's produced how many goalkeepers of the year? He's such a good guy and he loves it here."

Gore knew what he was getting into, a program with championship expectations, both internally and externally. That's why he wanted the job so badly. It's how he's wired. He doesn't want it any other way, no matter the current circumstances.

He inherits a program that will have players who have scored three career goals as Grizzlies – two by Rokos, one by Caylee Kerr – and nobody who has played a minute in goal. Still, Montana, as usual, will be the hunted, as it's been since the days of Betsy Duerksen pacing the sidelines in the 1990s.

"One of the things I like from Stu is that we're wearing the crown, regardless of our situation," says Landham. "We're the ones with the target on our backs. That doesn't change just because a coach is out and a new coach and new players are in.

"That doesn't mean that that identity of winning trophies is out. That didn't leave. That is the expectation and the intention. It will be exciting to build something up new and fresh. I'm excited to see how that will look and how it will feel."

J. Landham didn't run to the next coaching opportunity and he won't run away from the challenge that awaits the Montana soccer program in the months ahead, as the Grizzlies regroup. Coach J would have been gone. J Who Coaches is still here, living his best life.

After all, the luckiest people out there are those who have the greenest grass in the world right under their feet, and they know it. "The person I am here is my favorite version of myself, if that makes sense," he says. It does. It totally does.

University of Montana Athletics

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